Love Addiction
Rather than allowing sex and love to foster a sense of bonding or intimacy, a love addict unwittingly finds him or her self anxious, in pain, and afraid of being rejected or alone. They often get caught up in intrigue, flirtation, serial dating or affairs, all in search of the yearned for “right” partner. Or, alternatively, love addicts sometimes cling to bad relationships, justifying it as better than having to spend time by themselves.
In each of these scenarios, needs are not met and the cycle of desperation deepens. Over time, the inability to be intimate with others or developing attachments to those who are unavailable for commitment, can erode one’s self-esteem. The first step toward breaking the cycle is to recognize and admit your addiction — and seek professional help to address the underlying issues.
Signs of Love Addiction:
- Putting the other person's need before your own
- Obsessing about the partner
- Difficulty being alone
- Fear of abandonment
- Getting into the next relationship as soon as one ended
- Repeatedly 'falling in love' with people you meet on the internet and never met in person
- Craving closeness but repeatedly choosing intimacy avoidant people as partners
- Seducing and fantasizing promarily for the thrill of persuing and being pursued
Love addicts love feeling in love. They confuse intensity in a relationship with love and spend a lot of time and effort on the person they obsessed with. They value this person more than themselves. This behavior results in love addicts neglecting to care for themselves and frequently abandoning important aspects of their lives such as social relationships, professional and work relationships. They loose themselves in the other with devastating concequences.
A love addict frequently suffer from poor sense of self and a core (unconscious) fantasy is that the object of their ‘love’ will take care of them, and fix them. On a deep level they believe unless they are with somebody they do not really exist. When these unrealistic fantasies and needs are not met, love addicts may find themselves feeling resentful and become very needy which often results in conflict in their relationships. Love addicts are often attracted to unavailable people, or people with an avoidant attachment style perpetuating their fear of abandonment.
Recovery from love addiction is a process of self-discovery, developing a strong and healthy sense of self and self worth.
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